TC2011

GOD IS LOVE.

What can I say? GOD moves and He will NEVER, EVER leave us alone.

Heading into TC, I was extremely anxious 'cause I didn't know what GOD had in store and, if you know me well, I really like to be in control. But memorizing Bible verses worked out for me 'cause I remembered to not be anxious about anything, but in prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to GOD. I was legitimately scared 'cause I was worried about whether the Holy Spirit would move and whether or not I would 'feel GOD'. I learned so much 'bout this 'cause I learned that we're not 'feeling' GOD but we're KNOWING THAT GOD IS WITH US. I can tell you that I didn't feel GOD at all when I was speaking, but I knew that it was Him speaking through me and not me at all.

The first couple of days were tasking both psychologically, emotionally and physically. GOD allowed satan to try our team and to create divide between us. But through this process, we learned to grow stronger together and to rely more on GOD to help us. I know that there were a lot of frustrations and things to be upset about but the thing that struck me the most was LOVE and PRAYER. We helped out with the kitchen and I learned to really appreciate what goes on behind the scenes of TC. The ladies and gentlemen were all really friendly and MAYBE EVEN MORE PASSIONATE FOR GOD THAN WE WERE. They showed GOD's love by making food and for really caring about what the quality of the food was. The whole kitchen staffing experience showed me how to be humble and how to serve GOD with a smile even when nobody is looking. If I hadn't been chosen by GOD to do SRTC, I wouldn't have done kitchen staffing first, would've probably been cocky and did TC for myself and GOD probably would've seen the pride and would've chosen to speak through someone else. GOD, I thank you for putting me on SRWT. Going back to prayer, I know that we should be praying as much as possible, but prayer doesn't always take the form of kneeling and bowing our heads. I learned to give EVERYTHING up to GOD and to not shy away from Him when we sin. I had a lot of frustrations but I learned to love people even when they were being difficult.

When it came to worshiping on stage and leading worship in front of a couple hundred people, it was a real breathtaking experience. I have to admit that my nerves were calm the first day and I really experience GOD moving in people. My worship, ie singing and guitaring, were most definitely not perfect but I knew that it was not about me. GOD looks at the heart but humans look at the appearance. I almost got discouraged when I saw that the audience was kind of unresponsive during the first worship session, but I could tell GOD showing me that He had greater things in store. AND THAT HE DID! During the evening session, GOD moved. GOD moved SO HARD! GOD told a story of LOVE and He moved the hearts of the people inside the sanctuary. I don't know how it happened, but the songs aligned with the media message AND the speakers message. GOD spoke through me and it was the most amazing experience EVER. Before I signed up for TCWT, I actually had a vision of my talking in front of TC and of having GOD moving people through me. I just remember the Holy Spirit moving and the altar call being responded to, PRAISE THE LORD! I remember standing on stage while the speaker was doing the altar call and just repeating "Holy Spirit, move in this room. HOLY SPIRIT, FLOOD THIS ROOM!" I'm thankful for the coach that came up to help pray with me even though I still have no idea who it was and I'm even MORE THANKFUL that GOD moved people that day! Honestly, I couldn't stop worshiping and I couldn't stop smiling. My cheeks hurt that night 'cause I was SO joyful!

Day two of worshiping was definitely hard on me for my body and my spirit were both low. I was tired and exhausted from the previous days' lack of sleep and I doubted how I, JUSTIN LAM, could match the previous night's experience. IT'S NOT ABOUT ME. The first session was definitely sloppy and there was division in our worship team. I just couldn't focus nor concentrate on GOD and I just couldn't see Him. Then came the night. In between, many things were worked out and, although I was still a bit tired, things came through. GOD provides and HE'S THE ONE WORKING. The last worship was powerful and inspiring. I felt called to tell everyone how GOD was breaking my heart for the hurt and the fatherless. This is my call! My heart broke when I was speaking and I really don't care if people see me as weak, but it was GOD breaking my heart for these people. It was such a glorious sight when I saw people weeping in the audience when GOD broke their hearts too. I really pray that GOD's love will show through them and that they WILL take this calling. I've never EVER seen a TC where GOD broke a whole congregation and put them on their knees. WHAT A GLORIOUS SIGHT!

I've learnt that, if you put GOD first, He will surely work when you ask Him to move and to use you. GOD, I'm still a child, I don't know how to talk and my lips are unclean. GOD, use me and change me as you see fit. GOD, I will pray for eternity and I will worship forevermore. Prayer was extremely important in this battle for souls and the word was even more important. GOD showed SO much love during this TC and I know that He will show even more 'cause GOD IS LOVE! GOD works in His own ways and we just need to learn to LET GO. GOD, I love you and I know you love those out there that haven't even considered your existence. I will go, LORD. FATHER, MOVE ME.