Patience.

Father,

I'm running out of patience. I've waited for a year already and I just can't take it anymore. I know that I'm normally very patient but I'm just running out of it right now. I need you to grant me patience and I need you to capture my heart. In the same way Jacob passed his 7 years by enraptured by his love for Rachel, I want to be so madly and deeply in love with you so that it doesn't even matter how long I wait. Grant me patience and love, Father, for it truly is hard.

In Christ's name I pray,

Amen.

---

"So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." -Gen. 29: 20

I realize that my patience isn't enough. I pride myself on my ability to wait for things and my ability to be patient but my patience just isn't enough. I don't know how many more years I'll have to wait until I meet or find my "Rachel" but I want these next few years to be spent in love with my future spouse and more importantly, GOD. I want to be so captured by my love for GOD that I'm reluctant to get married and give myself over to someone. I just don't believe in my own patience anymore 'cause clearly it isn't enough and I need more of GOD's.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... A time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend." -Ecclesiastes 3: 6,7

There is a time. Maybe it's the time for me to throw it all away or maybe it's a time for me to hold onto it. Maybe it's time for me to RIP it out and to tear it to pieces or maybe it's time for me to remake it. I don't know. All I know is that GOD has His timing and that His will is going to be done. The future is uncertain but I definitely know who holds it.