MY Sandcastle.

I was lying in bed awake last night just thinking of my walk with GOD. There's one thing that I realized and it's that I haven't completely given up on MY sandcastle. Here's the story.

I built my sandcastle on the beach, pretty smartly I must say. It's not that far from the sea but I still get a nice breeze in. My sandcastle isn't that beautiful and it serves me well. I know that it's not the best I can have, but the world tells me that it's okay to be content with what you have. These are the morals I've been taught, you see. Thing is, once in a while, my walls would break and this water would flood the moats and sometimes wash a bit away of my sandcastle. I can't prevent it 'cause the moon controls the tide and brings it in. Every single time the water strikes, I have to rebuild and every single I rebuild, the walls get weaker and weaker and weaker...

I look up the hill a bit and I see this wonderful sandcastle! It's beautiful, perfect and the dream of any boy in the world. One day, the maker of the sandcastle invites me to join him and be a part of his sandcastle. Like forts, sandcastles are pretty important things and the bigger your team, the better the sandcastle. The only catch to this is that I have to give up my sandcastle and leave it alone. I have to give it up eventually but whether or not I want to destroy and leave it all behind is the only option. Even though my sandcastle wasn't the worst sandcastle ever and it looked better than everyone else's, I chose to give it up for so much more in the sandcastle up the hill. This sandcastle is permanent and built on rock. It doesn't wash away. Thing is, I still look out onto the beach where my sandcastle used to be and I reminisce about the old times and, once in a while, I would go back just to sit where the foundation used to lie...

Now, in this short story, my sandcastle is my life, the sandcastle above is the life I have in Christ and the water is the life this world has to offer. I've given my life to GOD but I know that there's still a bit of ME in the relationship and the equation. I'm having difficulties letting go of what I want and doing what HE wants.

Father, I pray that may your will be done but I'm struggling to really do your will and to listen to your voice so that I may act on it. I think I know what I want but I really don't. You want the best for me and in your strength, power and love you would never lead me down the wrong path. It's so hard to do what you want sometimes and I struggle so much to the point where I fail. I'm like a dog, repeating wrongdoings over and over again. That's just not how my life was meant to be in you. To fully give my all and to not look back at the things of this world because I'm running and sprinting towards you, Father, is what I should be living for. LORD, help me and move for I'm not going anywhere. I don't want this open/shut door relationship anymore. I want you to tell me directly and Father, I will listen. MAKE me listen no matter how painful that may be and MAKE me do your will. Not mine but YOURS. Surely the hands that held Jesus' hands on the cross could hold my hands to your will, to do YOUR will. Father, help me.